It was already a month ago I fell off my dairy free, wheat free and sugar free wagon. Which influenced the way I was acting around the home. That’s why I first need to tell you few things before I even start on this ‘I choose Love’ challenge I’m on. There is a great importance for me to stay on the plant based, pure and simple diet. There is such a tangible and close connection between diet and behavior. Diet and process of my thinking as well. Then comes quality of sleep, circle of activity and rest.

Between wrong choices and a lack of exercise is where this story begins. I was pretty exhausted of being on a wrong diet. I needed to move from couch potato mode as soon as possible. On the other hand, body was demanding foods I constantly have been avoiding. I noticed how I was becoming more depressed. Loosing my temper. Being less patient with people I love the most, my children.

It was time for change. I didn’t run anymore. The only time I could do it was 6 am and it was still dark and brutally cold outside. (By the way this is just an excuse for me). Where is a will there is a way. I had a will part. Now I only needed the way. Little push from the nature perhaps. I needed to go back to my fresh self. Quickly, before I make some serious damage around here. Right there and then I found this wonderful Hands Free Mama blog. Even though i modified the challenge to sooth my nature, it was excellent read and great help.

This was second day of my challenge. Morning started pretty rough but everything turned around completely with just two words ringing in my head. Be Love.

Bogdan my 6 years old was having a hard time. Big energy in the little body that needed to be channeled. That is Bogi. If this doesn’t happen he will pour him self out loud, but if it does, this little boy will happily embrace all that life throws at him. Every now and then his power lines get overloaded. This morning was more NOW then then! He needed challenge. I knew that, but sometimes I forget. Love always remember.

Is he hungry?…Is he tired?…In the morning? After 10h long sleep? It was hard to say. Nothing was right. He cried because of broken watch, even though watch was broken few months ago and he got over it. He cried because Mila my 2 years old lost his Lego Ninjago guy a week ago. He cried while watching out from the window. Seeing that there is no maize form the last Summer outside in the field. No matter what I said or did, nothing made him feel better. I could of told him to get over it and put a movie on for him to watch or rush him to the kitchen table to eat something. That didn’t seams right. Be love I contemplated and waited for reply. And I stayed present. I even cried with him. After breakfast was eaten, still a few tears rolled from his soaked cheeks. My hopes were high that food will fix him.

I had so much to do. Clean the house. Wash the dishes. Do the laundry and prepare for the meeting in the afternoon but the voice within was quietly repeating Be love. House can wait. I knew he needed some bouncing around. It always makes him happy. But what to do in our 700 square foot home? It was too cold outside. Love knows. There is always something. I glanced in the little wooden box on the floor next to Mila’s toys. There were tiny little crochet cotton balls. Perfect! I asked him if he would play catch. Just to destruct him from his blues. Yes, he would and he did.  He was in the chair on the one side of the room, me on the other in the couch. Instant joy on his face.  Just one minute of tossing the ball back and forth was enough for him to remember his glorious self again. I couldn’t be happier to see his power back.

He was happy but soon got bored of this game . What now? there’s still a few more hours till school. He asked for electronics and movie’s. I heard the same voice. Be Love. Desperately looking all around to find one more distraction to save the day and leave movie time for the weekend, where movies belongs around here. I didn’t want to brake that rule. Be love instead. Love was searching. What to do?

Some old wood boards were on the porch. I noticed one single 2 by 4 there. It was long enough, about 5-6 feet. Yes!!! It looked perfect to build obstacle course or even better a balance beam. Two chairs inside. One board on the outside. Put two together and walla! I got my own mini gym.

He is still playing with it as I write this. Now he is using it as a bridge for his Hotwheels. I can here all sorts of happy crashing sounds.

His eyes are again burning with excitement and acceptances of the game. Happily embrace all that life throw at him. His little sister is merrily playing along too. Be love. I can still hear it. Spring time is calling. Everything is melting on the inside. I am getting lighter with every day and I choose Love.