Morning. Unusual commotion. Every person in our family of five is fighting with something on its own. A bug, or could be just a cold. We are down with something and our body-mind synergy needs a purification. House needs a purification too. Little ones fighting mirroring my own inner world of range and sleep deprivation.
In my mind nothing is still. Thoughts are racing. I can hardly hear…slow down, slow down. Instead I spilled my self in front of my three beautiful children like fountain coming down from mountain. Never ending splash it seams! Splash! Splash! Kids are quit. They still had some wishing coins to trow at me. I could see in their eyes. But they needed my help. Now louder. I could hear. Be love. Be love.
While I am trying to tame escaping wild beast I am explaining them through the tears. It is not you guys It is just mommy. I need rest. I am sorry. They seems to understand.
My oldest one needed more convincing. He went hiding in the hammock in the other room. I came softly. It is never you. I sad. When I am like this. When I tell you your hair is messy. When I tell you put another shirt this one is too dirty. It is never you. It is always me. I am sorry. I am learning please forgive me. I am not a supper mom I am just a mom. But I am getting better every day in hope to become one. He looked at me with his big smoky eyes and in cheerful voice sad: ‘You need an upgrade mom’. We laughed and I sad ‘Yes, I do’. Then we laughed some more…Afterwards we took this pictures to remember this moment. I won, we won. There is a super mom after all. Hiding in every one of us. As soon as we let go. Letting go. Parenting is all about that. Letting go of what might be or what was. For what is. Right now.
Every moment with my children is about that. Letting go this or that. All the time. We spent so much time together. Homeschooling for the last 12 years. No babysitters. Ever. Making food from scratch. Every single day. Then letting go. There is only one thing to remember. We do need this special time for us. We need to put our self first. Why? If we want our kids to be open and free we need to be that first. If there is a more of unwanted skin to shed let it be during the yoga practice. Drum circle dance. In the woods. Or on the road running.
Matia’s words ‘You need an upgrade mom’ made me think. What are those upgrades. How to get them.
Here are just few that came to the mind:
1. At least 8-10 hours of sleep every day.
3. Exercise ( I love running. Open road and view ahead. 7 am everything is fresh then. It is perfect start for the day ).
4. Yoga ( Makes us flexible both in the body and the mind as well)
5. At lest 2 gallons of water daily
7. Have a Journal. Write down your experiences and your goals.
8. Read other moms stories. Continue learning.
List goes on and on but those are most important for me. This could be upgrade for every mom. We just need to rearrange things in order to make some space for it. More space for us, more for our children and loved ones as well.