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Category Archives: Conscious Parenting

Exit with love

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Today before I even washed my face or scraped my tongue I had to face vilian of a massive proportions. My what seamed to be tranquil meditative morning followed by yoga turned into wrestling session with an evil queen. Truth to be told it is never for sure what of those two realities will hit me.

I felt like a Cinderella serving not 2 but 10 ugly sisters in preparation for the ball. That ungrateful creature! Tossing garment by garment to my feet. This undies are to itchy. That shirt is too cold! This thighs are to tight! Jeans is too stiff. Dress is too scratchy. Pants are too uncomfortable and so on.

It wouldn’t even be so harsh if it wasn’t for the screaming and crying. My motherly hearth is open, my mind centered and my words are kind. At least for the first 30 minutes. Offering solutions to the villain. Garment after garment. Offering different options of wearing them. Until there is nothing left to wear. Then, perhaps wearing them inside out! I did that many times now. Trying it all, until there is no more options and there is no more clothes left. At this point I am even considering dirty loundry basket diving!

It was now 45 minutes into this game of thrones. (I am really privileged to have that much time you see). Mind blurs and hearth shrinks. Then, familiar to all parents, metamorphosis is thanking place. Now I am becoming an evil queen myself, ordering the only one solution. Putting those darn clothes on! Anithing! My, now powerless child is sinking. Toughts racing trought my mind. How to Not do the harm? Breathing…then more ‘’practical’’ thoughts. Is it full Moon!? Is it wheat form last two weeks she was gubbling on? Is she getting sick. Is she hungry? But, she just woke up! Hmm…Parasites?? Or is Saturn debilitated? Mercury retrograde perhaps?? Must be chocolate she shared with her brother previous night!

Whatever it is, momma is loosing her wits. Hold your horses mama. Pain on my child’s face and clothes on her body. Some tears and then big hug and child in mama’s embrace. Just hugging, sitting amongs pile of clothes. Boath admitting that life is hard. With those exact words we are out of villains land and back to our hearts. I even got kiss on my forheard both cheeks and the nose. With ‘I love you mama’. Exit with love.

Obviously my 5 year old was in the land of tantrum ruled by pain and scream. Pile of close grew to what seamed like Mount Everest of mother’s expectations of perfect outfit for her little girl who obviously would rather go nude!

Not a perfection just one big huge mess this life is but when coated with love it gets pretty darn awesome. And if you are parent, well…you already know that.

We are in China!

By | Conscious Parenting, Food for thought, Health, Peaceful Parenting | 12 Comments

China, day 4.

There is not turning back now. Somewhere on the other side of the World, long, long, time ago.  5 days to be exact. I  acted so cool like I have everything under control. No one could tell that I was nauseated and my tummy was so upset. I was hiding it well. Or at least I think I did.

Anyway… The fact that everything will change in matter of hours was extremely painful.  Everything within or better say the part that didn’t want to change, was screaming  NOOO!  The part that say no to everything new and want to hide and stay in his old,  ‘I like it the way it is’ cocoon.  It was contemplating some kind of miracle to save it from the new and the journey ahead. While at the same time miracle WAS happening right in front of it’s nose and it still does.

You see, I was stuck. I needed the change. I needed to let go of so much of my self that wasn’t needed anymore. I needed to let my true self be more in charge and for that I needed the change on every level it seams.

I also wanted new spacious home. Nice and clean, new preferably. Eco and green. I wanted slower, more relaxed way of leaving. Not so much driving in the van ( U.S. moms can relate ) I wanted more ‘free range’ type of children’s education. More kids around spontaneously playing and exploring the nature. Organic fresh food on demand. More time for meditation, yoga. Less distraction.  Like easy access to snack food to the local health food store and social media. Well….I got it all but never I expected to be…well in China!

As soon as we landed, all fears were gone. I am safe. It is ok. Peaceful sort to speak. Big. Huge, kinda empty airport in Beijing was neat. Kids were tired but in good spirit. They let us go ahead the domestic line. Which was pretty cool when you know as foreigner one needs to go to foreigners  line. Much, much longer one!  Anyway….We are safe. It is ok. Peaceful.

Eco Village plus educational/spiritual center needs us. We need the Village and it’s way of living even more. It is good. It is big. It is clean. At least for the Chinese standards it is. I am realizing more and more there is no clean spot on the Earth until there are corners of our beings to be polished…

Now we need to go ahead and do the work we came to do. Yole – Husband is designing and taking care of business and developmental aspects of this place. It is called Stone Village in the district of Stone House. 80km north from Beijing.

I will be working on my Well Being course while establishing  Yogi Cookies production. Teaching yoga and English to the kids while my kids will be focusing on learning Chinese, archery, calligraphy and music. Lot of out-door time.

We are safe. It is ok. Peaceful. It is good. It is big….well it is clean where we are.

All is good.


Living + dining room



Carrots harvest



There are 6 wells out side in the park. All hand made.


img_1905-1These are so delicious. Plant is super tall and so decorative. On the picture below it covers parts of construction on the side. It still produces abundantly.



Edible garden with back choy, cilantro, chard, different kind of greens, salad greens…



Walk to the greenhouse.



Yin Yang children playground.



Outdoor cooking thing…something like barbecue Chinesse style. You can see that woks go form biggest to smallest…Neat.



More of playground…





Earth Day

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Earth Day is everyday. In calendar it was marked yesterday but for me it is everlasting. Yesterday I spent more on the internet then last two weeks together but it was worth it. So many stories of ever changing world. So many stories of good will, persistence and love for our Mother Earth. Positive changes everywhere.


I read about Mother who banned round up in her community in only 64 days. About People in Hungary burning GMO corn fields. Dr. Oz fight back to those Monsanto lobbyist. People in Serbia found the way to outsmart system who wants to invade their privacy and force their children to mandatory vaccination. About new invention actually simple  Solar Seawater Distiller  that turns salt water into drinking water using only sunlight. And many, many more stories like this. Everywhere I looked was only good will and extraordinary faith in Heaven on Earth. People are awakening and it makes my hearth expand.


Beside reading about New Earth stories on internet this is what we did yesterday on the Earth Day.


We planted some peach trees then some hazelnut bushes. Moved the garden closer to the house so we can watch plants grow form kitchen window.


Every Mom Needs An Upgrade

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Morning. Unusual commotion. Every person in our family of five is fighting with something on its own. A bug, or could be just a cold. We are down with something and our body-mind synergy needs a purification. House needs a purification too. Little ones fighting mirroring my own inner world of range and sleep deprivation.

In my mind nothing is still. Thoughts are racing. I can hardly hear…slow down, slow down. Instead I spilled my self in front of my three beautiful children like fountain coming down from mountain. Never ending splash it seams! Splash! Splash! Kids are quit. They still had some wishing coins to trow at me. I could see in their eyes. But they needed my help. Now louder. I could hear. Be love. Be love.

While I am trying to tame escaping wild beast I am explaining them through the tears. It is not you guys It is just mommy. I need rest. I am sorry. They seems to understand.

My oldest one needed more convincing. He went hiding in the hammock in the other room. I came softly. It is never you. I sad. When I am like this. When I tell you your hair is messy. When I tell you put another shirt this one is too dirty. It is never you. It is always me. I am sorry. I am learning please forgive me. I am not a supper mom I am just a mom. But I am getting better every day in hope to become one. He looked at me with his big smoky eyes and in cheerful voice sad: ‘You need an upgrade mom’.  We laughed and I sad ‘Yes, I do’. Then we laughed some more…Afterwards we took this pictures to remember this moment. I won, we won. There is a super mom after all. Hiding in every one of us. As soon as we let go. Letting go. Parenting is all about that. Letting go of what might be or what was. For what is. Right now.


Every moment with my children is about that. Letting go this or that. All the time. We spent so much time together. Homeschooling for the last 12 years. No babysitters. Ever. Making food from scratch. Every single day. Then letting go. There is only one thing to remember. We do need this special time for us. We need to put our self first. Why? If we want our kids to be open and free we need to be that first.  If there is a more of  unwanted skin to shed let it be during the yoga practice. Drum circle dance. In the woods. Or on the road running.

Matia’s words ‘You need an upgrade mom’ made me think. What are those upgrades. How to get them.

Here are just few that came to the mind:

1. At least 8-10 hours of sleep every day.

2. Meditation

3. Exercise ( I love running. Open road and view ahead. 7 am everything is fresh then. It is perfect start for the day ).

4. Yoga ( Makes us flexible both in the body and the mind as well)

5. At lest 2 gallons of water daily

6. Dance

7. Have a Journal. Write down your experiences and your goals.

8. Read other moms stories. Continue learning.

List goes on and on but those are most important for me. This could be upgrade for every mom. We just need to rearrange things in order to make some space for it. More space for us, more for our children and loved ones as well.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Every mom is potential Super Mom!


Having kids play unsupervised

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Pictures are worth a thousands words. Pictures will be my best proof to you that kids get most creative while in nature unsupervised. Yes, I sad unsupervised! In a safe and natural environment close to home. In the field next to your house. In the forest on your land…When you call they might be able to hear you. Somewhere where your motherly attention is always with and on them no matter what you do. There, in that safe piece of haven of theirs, kids will became little Gods and their creativity will flourish. They will become little batteries charged directly form the Mother Nature. Fully charged they are becoming mighty inventive dynamos. They will surprise you. They will even surprise themselves! But most important is aftermath of this nature excursions. Your children are becoming serene, grounded and full of bliss. Gift to every mother. Happy and blissful children.
They will use want ever they find to serve their creative play…Like this mini figures they made in big pile of dirt.


…or perhaps they will knock you down coming to your doorsteps like this… Time for clay bath I would say. Just look at their faces!

10464069_10152909109974348_7968388556625752649_nJust faces…well, I don’t think so.


No matter where they are, on the tree or in the grass, next to the big pile of send or in the garden, they will always find something creative to do. Most important it will make them truly happy. Simple tools like this bungee cords my little one found in the garage…who would think! He played with those for hours.


Using seaweed like jumping rope instead of some other plastic toy I didn’t want to provide.


Or again, play with the dirt. My favorite. Look at this super heroes and this mighty mud fist.


Here you would see, my kids obviously couldn’t look and this old table any more. Something needed to be done. Since our Mulberry tree was so grateful last summer, boys decided to use it’s gifts wisely.


Mommy even didn’t know what are these from the picture bellow. Kids introduced them to me. Little tree that was standing lonely (or I just though so) was powerful Autumn Olive my kids adore. Autumn Olive Berries contain high levels of vitamins A, C and E, and flavonoids and essential fatty acids. Lycopene is their main attraction, though. Lycopene, adds Clevidence, who heads ARS’ Phytonutrients Laboratory in Beltsville, Maryland, has generated widespread interest as a possible deterrent to heart disease and cancers of the prostate, cervix and gastrointestinal tract and who knows what else. For more info you can just click here.
Such a rich flavor this fruit has. We ate tons of these last year. My little harvesters are looking forward to the next summer’s devouring.


Bogdan, my five years old, disappeared into the early morning last September. I knew he is in the garden, sand pile, hay fort or climbing some tree… I was right. It was garden this time. The way I knew is because his spectacular show up with this huge Mammoth Sunflower on his back. Heave load on his back. He wrestled it almost whole morning. If you ever planted one of those, you will know it is not easy to get them down. Especially for this little fella. Anyway. He was so proud to show me his harvest he dragged all the way from the garden. Then on his own, he decided to save seeds for the next year. I was blown away.


You see, I was just an observer here. He had such great time.


All I want to say here is that we need to give some space to our kids. It is absolutely must. There is so much structural, academic, social and systematized educational school time in our culture. There, our children are always monitored, observed, directed and even conditioned. I feel it is our responsibility to provide these essential time for them to spend alone. Just being alone in the nature makes them present, grounded. Self-sufficient I would say.

Give power back to the children!




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This mom is in the state of complete exhaustion. Worn out by extreme physical work. Yesterday was day of grounding for me and my whole family. Just bare with me and you will see why.

According to the law we need to have conventional septic system here on our land. Duh! So I spend whole day in the hole digging with my own two hands. It could be much easier to hire somebody to do it for us. But we decided not to do business with the banks ( at least not for some time) and go with the ‘do it yourself’ method…hmmm…

Enthusiastic and green this might look but one have to have a lot of energy and will to go through all of this. Every part of your being gets challenged in the process. For me, for example this day was fusion of powerful workout, super-duper family fun, bitter-sweet memories of my life and totally spiritual connection with my family and the Earth itself! Not to mention sequence of despair of putting my self in to this mess.

As I happily jumped in the hole to join my dear husband and the children I started singing and laughing. They followed, they sang, they laughed…but time passed and I got tired and I stopped to rest. Then I continued and again stopped and rest and so on and so forth.
Time passed and I got in serious conversation with my oldest son…remembering life and death. Talk about my mom, his beloved deceased grandma. Cycles of creating, maintaining, destroying.  All three in one. Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva came to visit us in this earthy hole.  All at once.

Then, as time passed on…I started thinking differently. Still working, still sweating. Then mood swings  hit ruthlessly. Kids just witnessed my madness. I was in despair once more. Pain, fatigue and resistance. While covered with dirt I was thinking of nice spa treatment and vacation on Mediterranean. Why am I digging here for God sake!?? My pain body was screaming. Steel connected to the Earth I didn’t let go I just stud there working and witnessing all of my feelings. Then everything disappeared even me I think for a second. I love when that happens. And everything turned in to fun once again.

Thank God I steel can envision my house, little greenhouse and every corner of our land…planing places for the trees and fairy houses. For the rock garden and the wind charms. Orchard. Bird houses and water fountains…Everything became clear once more. Even clearer then ever before.

Thank God for this experience, hard work, breath and ability to share this with you.


On the end of the day there is purpose beaming in to your face. Peace at hearth. Happy, healthy kids. Totally grounded and peaceful. You spent all day together. There you go. Quality time in it’s fullest. While digging giant hole!? Who would say! They, your loved ones see every bit of you and help you see it too. You couldn’t hide even if you wanted to. Naked, bare and totally raw, you stand in front of them. And you loved it, every bit of it.